Intellect And Emotion

(I wanted to be more thinky this month, but I haven't been as disciplined as I wanted to be.  Even the rants don't quite fill in as much as they could.  I'll do better next year, I guess.)

Some time ago an acquaintance told me I should be more in touch with my emotions and less intellectual.  Now, more in touch with my emotions might be a valid criticism, but less intellectual?  Are we really going down the path of anti-intellectualism?  Is it really necessary to choose between awareness and analysis and awareness and feeling?  The very idea is offensive to me on two fronts.

One, to say that a person should reject the inclination to analysis implies that it is wrong or dangerous to do so.  Analysis is the way we find things out as human beings, unfortunately.  We have to gather information and assimilate it, preparing to predict consequences, in order to function in the world.  There is the possibility of overthinking things, but that is not being intellectual and should not be confused with it.  The intellectual view takes an abstract and objective stance, as much as possible, and seeks to understand.  Where there are problems, it seeks to solve them.  It is not especially sensible to tell somebody to reject problem solving.  That might be the connection to the next point, however.

I am a woman and this acquaintance is a man.  Women have the reputation for being more emotional than intellectual, so it is sometimes the case that an intellectual woman is a bizarre and uncomfortable thing.  At least, that is the argument that I hear.  The suggestion now becomes not "be less intellectual" but "be more like a typical female".  I do not have the right to thought or analysis because my physical form is not the "correct" one.  Whether this was the conscious idea or not is immaterial, it is the message that was transmitted.  This person happens to hold a few rather romantic ideas about gender and society, so if it was meant, he certainly believes that it is a compliment.  Perhaps I am not truly intellectual enough to fathom why being told that I am not allowed to use my powers of critical thought is, in fact, a compliment.  I should stop trying for my own good, I suppose.

The other problem is the assumption that I am not in touch with my emotions.  I do not share my emotions regularly because they are almost without exception negative.  I am not a positive person.  I do not have a secret soul filled with sweetness and light.  I do not share my emotions because they are not welcome to be shared, and I am not such a good actress as to create a joyful persona to please people.  I have the impression that my acquaintance believes everybody is really angelic within and we should simply open the doors to our inner selves, but that is simply ridiculous.  Some people have nothing but darkness inside them.  Some of them give in to it and some of them hide it.  Those who hide it have varying levels of success.  It is insulting and demeaning to be told that my decisions about what I share are mistaken because I do not actually know what I am.  I am quite perfectly aware of what I am, and that is why you do not know.  Believe me, you should be thanking me.  You do not really need to know how much people can hide themselves for the sake of getting along.