Tuesday, October 20, 2015

No One is an Island

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.
-John Donne, Meditation XVII

This fragment of Donne's Meditation, especially the first phrase, have provoked many a meditation in others over the centuries.  It seems to be a comforting thought, one that assures us that we are not alone in the world, and we have undeniable connections to other people.  However, Donne's idea of the individual and the nature of those connections might not be so palatable to us today.  Donne was a churchman and wrote this collection of meditations after having suffered a serious illness, so he was probably in a mystical and godly frame of mind, but his view of the individual person was less a being to itself and more a cell in a larger body.  There are people who would argue in favor of this image today, but more likely with the body representing society or nature, rather than the church, as Donne pictured it.  Of course, the church and his society were much less separated than ours, at least we might hope.  The connections he spoke of were less paths to personal fulfillment through human relationships and more the awareness of the fact that existing affects others who exist.  "[The bell] tolls for thee" - every death is our own death, a piece of ourselves has disappeared forever.  "[A baptised child] is thereby ... ingrafted into that body whereof I am a member" - every life is a part of our life, and our responsibility to protect as the "head" of the "body" sees fit.  The expectations of the time were less in personal fulfillment and more in the simple act of doing one's duty; each person was to act as a cog in the machine of their community, not seek personal recognition or glory.  In a more modern setting, we might prefer to interpret the body as our community or society, and the connections as friendly or family relationships, which we expect to provide not only happiness, but also fulfillment and success.  The shift to a more individualistic society has made the interpretation of the meditation more self-serving, but not meaningless.  We still need to keep in mind how our actions affect others, and how they can provoke others to be mindful or to ignore their affect on us.  The choices we make can have far-reaching consequences, even among people we do not know, and those consequences can be much worse, or better, than we might have wished.  The other side of the coin is the desire to be an island; many of us desire protection - from the responsibilities of society, from distractions to our intellectual or financial advancement, from harmful people.  The island represents a setting of peace and isolation, although some communication certainly comes through; real islands are reached by boat or plane and garbage washes up on their shores or is deposited by the wind.  Even if we are islands, we are an archipelago rather than isolated landforms.

A Sometime Participant argued that the ties of affect between members of society do not prevent an individual from feeling lonely.  We do not feel accepted and understood by those around us in many cases, and superficial interactions do not stimulate sensations of belonging.  She also raised the issue of the elderly and disabled, categories that are in danger of being physically and emotionally isolated from the rest, to the point of dying alone in their rooms and being discovered only days, months or years later.  While this is a point worth remembering when we consider how to promote happiness among individuals, I do not think this entered into Donne's thinking.  He was not considering individual emotions of joy or sorrow, but rather the satisfaction of doing one's duty as a human on earth.  Only people who disappear into the wilderness, leaving not even their memory, are unconnected to the rest.  As sad as it may be, those who cut themselves off in their own houses and whose bodies are found after their deaths are not islands in their loneliness; their lives leave marks and their deaths affect us, provoking worry and consternation.  Perhaps we do owe the mentally ill more in terms of care and attention, but not all who isolate themselves are mentally ill.  Some are just jerks.  They are toxic people who make interactions with them painful and uncomfortable through there own choice, and it is little wonder that individuals cut off interactions with them as much as they can.  Donne's meditation carries no obligation to cater to awful people, rather to recognize that we are part of a greater whole, although we do not deal directly with one another.  The question may deserve consideration, but I think it is not the question we are examining here. 

The True Philosopher emphasized the link between human reality and social reality in Donne's writing, and the fact that we may not have defined links to every individual we know.  We can choose to be alone or forge relationships with others.  Our relationships, however, are created individually, not through the actions of others.  As for those individualists who would retire from the world and society, many of them are not able to maintain such solitude, that is not even complete.  Thoreau, for example, spent only one year at Walden Pond.  As a contrast to our modern individuality, he offered the concept of ubuntu, an African philosophy, in which the individual identifies so strongly with the group that, so the story goes, individuals refuse to even eat in shifts.  "If one eats, we all eat," was their explanation.  We do need others in order to get a sense of ourselves, and he mildly criticized the modern tendency to "I and id" rather than "I and thou".  He also picked up the archipelago as metaphor, reminding us that modern technology makes it possible to see and hear each other even at thousands of miles of distance.  We may have a sense of our own individuality, we may have boundaries, but we are not truly isolated.  Donne's meditation should be taken as an ethical statement, rather than one subject to verification: we cannot be self-sufficient, and we should not think of ourselves as separated from others.

The Educator reflected on the image of the island representing the uniqueness of each person, but also said that people are social beings.  It is simply a matter of survival, especially for the very young.  Solitude is not the same as loneliness, and can in fact be a calming and necessary experience for many people, although they will need to return to society after their time of contemplation.  She was less trusting of social networks and technology than the True Philosopher, saying those connections are superficial and based on quantity rather than quality.  It is easy enough to connect with 1000 "friends" on these networks, but when one really needs help or just an ear to listen, those electronic friends can be hard to reach.  She was even suspicious of the feeling of comfort in simply having the number of connections, since numbers are not very meaningful in terms of social and human contact.  Those who do isolate themselves to en extreme degree are often ill, or have suffered abuse, and these are things that should be dealt with by professionals.  It is also true, however, that we expect a little more personal space than people of the past did; more and more people live alone, and most people would choose to do so, finances providing.

The Leader was more positive about the effect technology can have on creating connections between people, and making plain that we have those connections in the first place.  The paradox of being alone in the crowd may stem from the basic unnaturalness of city life, which most of us have as our normal lifestyle.  At the same time, the capitalist mentality is more individualistic, and we are encouraged to attempt self-sufficiency rather than rely on others.  The fact that most if not all successful people only "made it" because of support from others is conveniently ignored.  The common use of the phrase today is to encourage people not to refuse help when it is offered, to emphasize the actual impossibility of survival without support.  Yet, there is a difference between needing social connections and being forced into contact with people who are not to your liking.  Mere disagreement does not cause one to cut connections with others.  He also wondered about the degree of involvement that would threaten individuality, but left the question unsettled.

The Deep Thinker declared himself impressed with the topic and the many possibilities for discussion.  He first stated that even the act of noticing other people is indicative of a connection with them, although it may not be deep or especially personal.  He also mentioned two possible paths to isolation, both of them maybe unintentional.  One is the isolation of the "top dog", the person who believes herself to be so much better than others that she cannot associate with them.  The True Philosopher considered the egotistical to find toadies rather than simply isolate themselves, but the Thinker insisted that there is a separation to be found in these situations not spanned by mindless yea-sayers.  Inferiors cannot be friends.  He also admitted that bad behavior can be a reason for isolation, although those who behave badly may not be able to gauge the consequences of their actions through organic perception problems or simple bad upbringing. 

In the same way nobody is an expert in all things, no topic is full of experts.  While most people are at least thoughtful in offering their opinions, there are always snotbag ninnies who cannot be bothered to be considerate of others' time and attention.  The manifest ignorance of modern English would be comical if it were not so pathetic, since it requires deliberate stupidity rather than natural distraction or lack of attention.  These are the people we can only wish would put off to sea and leave archipelagos of interest and respect in peace.

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