Children Are Pawns Of Their Parents

Parents have it tough.  They are expected to raise children that follow the conventions of the society they live in and do so in a socially acceptable way, which may mean far fewer choices when it comes to training and discipline.  There are always a few who disregard those limitations, but they are typically called out on their bad behavior and chastised by those around them.  Their children might even be confiscated by the State.  "Confiscated"?  Like material possessions?  In a way, yes.  Despite the insistence of many that children's lives are inherently valuable and to be respected, when it comes down to it we do not think of children as full people in a great number of cases.  We do not even recognize that we think of them as less, and that the structure of our society makes it necessary.  Children are meant to be the responsibility of their parents, until they are deemed mature enough to take care of themselves.  Due to our social requirements of extensive education, children must spend many years, more than two decades even, preparing to be adults.  While much of their educational preparation comes in the form of academic or practical training, we assume that parents are responsible for emotional upbringing.  They are expected to explain and model the values that society will benefit from.  Children mimic and repeat the moral judgements, the political catchphrases, and the general ethical attitude they receive from their parents, before they have had a chance to weigh the information for themselves, before they are able to think critically.  However, at what point can we say children go from learners to pawns?

It is extremely easy to simply wave off every opinion we do not like which is taught to children and say those parents are using their children as pawns.  The forced-birthers who bring their children to protests at health clinics use them as tools to shame passers-by and women seeking care.  Babies and young children feature in photos with politicians during campaigns.  They endure kisses, hugs, and handshakes.  They go out with t-shirts declaring their support of candidates they cannot vote for.  We can brush aside these actions by children as mere attempts to win their parents' favor.  Children do not have a deep appreciation of the issues, they only repeat what they hear at home.  And yet, is this not what we expect from good parents?  Children may not understand ethical and moral issues at a profound level, but they mimic the models shown to them as they learn about the world and their place in it.  This is how children learn human behavior.

On the other hand, we all learn by participating in activities.  It is true that children do not understand all the ins and outs of an issue, but should they not be given the option of participating?  Should they not be given at least the basics?  We need practice making decisions and defining our own morals to become full adults, and following parental instructions blindly, with no explanations, does not usher children towards adulthood and maturity.  Of course, some children will choose to wear their parents' values on their chests as a gesture of loyalty, or with the thought that it makes them look more grown-up.  However, even being given the choice is a gesture of respect for the child as a person (even a partially-baked person).  This is the problem at the heart of it: There are people who simply do not see children as real people, worthy of respect and autonomy.  They may not even give other adults that evaluation.  While children have little experience and for the most part little talent for critical thought, they should be allowed to form their own opinions.  When parents override them, as they will probably do often, pains ought to be taken for the child to know why.  It is a frustrating proposition.  Not all children, and not at all times, will be open to explanation.  They are maturing, not mature.  Maybe we cannot expect understanding, but we can hope that they will remember our efforts.