Things I Don't Know About Myself

I was unable to attend this meeting, as I was exploring things I knew very well about myself and others, just in case there was some new development.  Also, I was looking at some things I did not know about the country.  More or less what I expected.

The Leader wrote a short essay, focusing quite a bit on self-awareness and the problem of objective knowledge versus subjective experience.  Among other examples, those of fashion choices and ideas about learning were, or at least should be, easily identifiable experiences.  The True Philosopher wrote of the unconscious and the challenge of knowing oneself per Socrates.  Although I would not be there to participate, I did ponder the topic a bit, coming up with a few late-night thoughts:

There are a lot of things we don't know about ourselves.  On one hand, we have the understanding of the physical body, which is not complete despite many advances over human history.  On another, we have our limits and possibilities, in many realms.  On yet another, we have what we are perceived as by others.  Because of the limitations in human consciousness, the majority of this information is probably closed off from us forever and for sure.

While we know a great deal about the human body in general, there is still much to discover.  On top of that, each individual human has quirks and details that are not part of the norm or even known exceptions.  Beyond even that, we don't know the working life of our individual bodies.  How many more beats are left in my heart?  How much more alcohol can my liver process?  How many more miles can I walk on my knees before they rebound no more?  Will I develop an allergy to something?  What the hell, body, why do you have to be full of surprises?

We think we know what we want, and sometimes we're right, but other times our reactions are completely unexpected.  We may be following dreams that were imposed upon us, or simply expecting conditions that weren't reasonable to expect.  We think of ourselves as determined or fearful, but each particular situation can transform us into the opposite of our own image of ourselves.  We think of ourselves as having talents and abilities that will take us to the top of whatever field we decide to pursue, but our perception is often severely skewed.  We think we are believable actors, when our performances are wooden or overdone.  We think we can lead nations, when we don't even know what those closest to us need.  When dreams and aspirations come together, nobody can predict what will happen, and probably nobody will be satisfied with it.

We look in the mirror and we assume what we see is what everybody sees, both the good and the bad.  But, our self-image is warped and divergent from the image projected to others.  Some of this could be because of the human talent for just ignoring what we don't like.  We overcome cognitive dissonance by simply redefining our own actions so they seem to be reasonable and logical.  We explain away our hypocrisies by appealing to the exceptionality of this particular situation that affects us right now and in no way can be applied to anyone else's life!!!eleventy!!  We might ask others what they think about a particular aspect of our personalities or behavior, but even receiving honest answers isn't very helpful.  The filters from both sides prevent objective information from getting through.  We don't know, and will never know, why that person doesn't want to be friends, why that other person thinks we're gods incarnate.  They don't even know why they think what they think, at least not in a way that can be articulated so as to be useful.  We have chemical reactions to other people the same way we process food and develop into adult beings, in a way that is beyond our control and that we don't really understand.  We are hidden from ourselves, maybe even more than we can hide ourselves from others.