Is Sex More than a Massage?

After a couple weeks of ruffled feathers from a perceived slight, this topic was chosen.  While love and romance have come up numerous times, sex has not made much of an appearance as a discussion topic, possibly due to prudery or, perhaps more likely, due to fear of too much information from certain participants.  Some people really have no discretion.

The way the question is asked implies that the bare minimum for sex is a massage, which many would disagree with given the realities of phone sex and virtual sex.  We are also aware that fantasy is an enormous part of the sexual experience, which can enhance or even be the deal breaker.  If good fantasies are not forthcoming, the experience is not even a massage, but an uncomfortable waste of time.  The question also implies that maybe sex should be more than a massage; the way it is given makes it sound like a lament more than a neutral question.  We have somehow lost the way with all the free love and sexual revolution and separation of sex from procreation so that the emotional or spiritual component has been lost.  However, it is not hard to argue that the so-called spiritual component of sex has always been more myth than reality.  Even Pilgrims got down in the barnyard.  The problem in our society is the extreme and two-faced view we have of sex: one one hand, we insist that it is a dirty and dangerous activity, one that can destroy reputations and even take lives (especially for the participants with vaginas); on the other hand it is promoted as the best thing EVAR!!1!!  Sex is the best way to get back at your stodgy parents and repressive authorities, a way to rebel for rebellion's sake, man!  Not only that, but it is natural!  What we all are born to do!!  Moreover, we are all born to do it in exactly the same way!!!  By allowing this sort of doublethink to fester and become a basic idea in our society, we set everyone up for major disappointments and problems in the future.  In fact, sex is less than a massage in most cases, being simply contact with the genitals until somebody decides they should have had enough.  It may be to the benefit of our sex lives to encourage more massage, that is more physical contact with the body and skin as a whole, instead of the more or less clinical activity that seems to happen more and more these days, when there is no active attempt to make the experience unpleasant.

The Source spoke grimly of the opinions promoted about sex in modern societies, saying that too many prejudices have been attached to it.  Christianity in particular has tried to limit sex to a means of reproduction without any expectation of pleasure.  He acknowledged the existence of non-tactile sex, saying sex does in fact exist without the massage aspect, but in the main physical contact is there.  The discussion was an opportunity to liberate the participants from their old ideas and prejudices, and find a healthier, happier perspective.  He also wondered if the purest sex, perhaps the only pure sex, was that which was undertaken without any conditioning on what to do and expect others to do.  He did not give many speeches, or very long ones, but seemed to plead with us to open our minds a bit to a physical experience to be enjoyed and not analysed.

Our Doctor was less complimentary to the writers than he normally is, although always with that dash of humor: the True Philosopher must have been drunk, or high; the Leader cannot believe what he has written.  He mentioned that every sexual act, even with the same partner, is different.  Is it limited to the area between the legs?  Adults, he said, know that the whole body is involved in sex.  Not only the outside, but hormones, neurons, our entire biology participates.  After listening to other speeches, he said the topic was interesting, but with bad presentation.  There is profoundness; some philosophies have included sex as a contemplative tool.  Still, we are not ready to accept it, just as we are not ready to live totally, in complete knowledge of reality.  We know many things, but we know a lot about nothing.  We have been invaded by philosophy.  What we know is merely details.

The True Philosopher admitted to some difficulty in pondering the topic as a philosophical question, but in his writing did wonder about the necessary connections between the two activities.  He came to the conclusion that there is no actual connection, but that the two activities are often used to stimulate and provoke each other.  He also said that some massages include contact with the genitals, but are not sexual in intent.  Perhaps the definition of sex could be broadened.

The Seeker of Happiness found himself struggling to define exactly what sex and massage mean, although he insisted he knew what the concepts were.  It is a common problem, where we can recognize concepts but cannot precisely and accurately define them.  Some detail always escapes.  He brought in other pleasurable activities, such as eating, drinking, and experiencing the love of our families, saying they were other examples of components we deem necessary in our lives normally, and we all have many reasons for seeking them out and enjoying them.  Eating, drinking, and sex are instincts we have as animals with biological imperatives to continue the species, and for the most part they are pleasurable, as means of encouraging us to partake.  In the end, he came up with the idea that sex is really more than a massage because of its clear link to power.  Power and the desire to gain and preserve it are markers of human nature, strategies to reproduce as well as possible.  He felt that other hominids were not the victims of forced extinction or genocide on the part of our ancestors, but were simply unable to adapt and reproduce as successfully.

The Leader focused quite a bit on the reproductive aspect of sex, basically leaving aside the question of massages and how closely they were connected.  He emphasized the industrial development of sex in modern society, as it is one of the biggest money makers and persuasive arguments we have.  The sex act is used as a tool to create and deepen relationships, fostering trust.  Massage also demands a bit of trust as we lay under the hands of another human being.  As for pleasure, we do not know if any other sexual species experience sexual pleasure, although we can see plants using manipulation and attraction, albeit to insects more than other plants.  Modern science has separated sex from reproduction, allowing us to use it as pair bonding or recreation, much like massage.  He also pointed out that while most sex in the animal world could be thought of as rape, in human societies it is used as a weapon rather than a past-time.  Some rape apologetics did sneak into the discussion as people attempted to link all sex, even rape, only to attraction, which is simply stupid.  Although sex itself is used for pleasure, procreative sex is certainly not out of the picture.  Moreover, as the Source said previously, there are many negative attitudes about sex, such that it can be used as an act of domination and humiliation, which is the normal course of events in rape.

An Occasional Participant was bothered a bit by the topic, or perhaps the way the discussion went on, saying that there was clear provocation there.  She scoffed a bit at the eating-sex connection by way of pleasure, as well as the massage-sex connection; we are socialized to assume certain things about sexual activity and the people who have it and the predominating feeling is that of power, not pleasure.  Still, social concepts can change over time, and maybe we can produce a change in our attitudes for the more pleasurable.