sun/eye/moon'n'stars/cat/ladder/bicycle
We sat out in the backyard the next night thinking about what we should do. It was obvious that we couldn't just run away, we'd tried it before. At the same time, we had a very clear feeling of impatience building in our ... idol. Janelle was smoking, even though she knew I didn't like it, and the smoke wound up into the sky, casting a gauzy curtain over the twinkling celestial bodies of the night. The feeling of surveillance was overwhelming, more than it ever had been before. Finally, I broke the silence.
"Maybe we should go down to the creek."
Janelle looked at me in annoyance. She didn't say anything. Her thoughts were obvious.
"Well, what do you want to do, then? Buy a goat? Or a chicken?"
Janelle ground out the remains of the cigarette in frustration and stomped back into the house. I sat outside looking up at the stars, wishing I were a believer so I could ask for help from something greater than myself. Funnily enough, I didn't think of the skull as greater. It had powers, that was for sure, but it was something like a bully you try to deal with for a school year. They aren't better than you and you know it, but for the moment you can't fight them. I also wished I was a smoker so I would have a cooler excuse for just sitting on my ass in the yard, doing nothing else.
Suddenly, I woke up with the sun burning my eyes like eye drops you forgot about in the bottom of your medicine cabinet for a couple of years. I sat up quickly and saw that Janelle was breaking up slabs of wood and dumping them into the grill.
"It's not a wood burning grill, Janelle," I grumbled irritably. She gave me another look of frustration and kept on with her task. I tumbled to my feet, feeling like a Russian circus bear, and wobbled over to see what she was actually doing. I had to get right next to her before I could make out what the wood was from.
"Is that the ladder?" Terse nod.
"Did you smash it?" Sigh and understood eyeroll.
"How will we get to the lower levels now?" Janelle stopped and looked at me with an expression of smug knowing and pity that I had to ask. I scratched my head and looked around the yard. It was a splendid morning, truth be told. Other days I would have been very proud of myself for being awake and out of bed, ready to do some yardwork or something. Today I was just confused and fearful.
I did absolutely nothing but watch Janelle bring out all the wooden planks and slabs and smash them up and drop them unceremoniously in the belly of the grill, and finally dig out a half-used pack of matches and light one, drop the others on top of the wood, and drop the lit match. For some reason I expected a fwoosh but it didn't happen. Naturally, Janelle hadn't put any lighter fluid in. The fire caught slowly, and smoked with all the years of underground humidity.
After a while I said, for no reason, "I guess I should go to work." Janelle gave me the evilest eye I've ever seen and I went to the garage to get the car out. But, sitting in the driver's seat, I had the worst feeling of doom I've ever felt. Sure, people have premonitions all the time that turn out to be nothing, but when you feel it you know you have to do something, if only for your own peace of mind. I eased myself out of the car, like I expected to set off a bomb, and gently shut the door. I hadn't turned the engine on yet. I stood and looked at it for maybe a minute, and then I grabbed Janelle's bike.
"What the hell?!" she yelled after me as I zizzed down the street. "The car is out of gas," I called over my shoulder, knowing she would believe that as much as she had my line about work; I hadn't had a job in almost five years.
I hurtled down the early morning streets with ease, weaving from side to side and from curb to curb. You would think I would be able to dodge an obstacle without too much trouble, but cats are the worst fucking obstacles out there. Not matter what, they will be right under your foot, your tire, or if they get away it's because you have begun to have a spectacular accident. And that's what happened to me.
Monday, August 5, 2019
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