Embracing Mistakes

The most common interpretation of this idea is probably the one in which we learn from our mistakes.  That is to say, we do not ignore or pretend those mistakes did not happen, but rather we acknowledge and even analyze them to find ways of avoiding them in the future.  We also can embrace the mistakes of others for our own education, or simply embrace the person with all the faults one might find.  Part of being human is making mistakes, and part of being a member of human society is allowing others to make some mistakes without fear of being ostracized.  There is a definite culture of fear that surrounds mistakes, and many people simply cannot admit that they have not done something perfectly.  This may be detrimental to our mental and even physical health, as the stress of doing everything perfectly and the shame when it does not work out can eat away at us, and leave us husks of nervous self-depreciation.  We should be able to admit that we are not perfect, as no human being is perfect, and allow ourselves a certain amount of leeway for being mistaken.  As the meeting went on, a thought occurred to me with regards to mistakes and criminals.  There are a great many choices that result in crimes being committed, and which are not exactly defended, but excused as "mistakes".  Some criminals who try to rebuild their lives after serving time refer to their crimes as mistakes.  They insist that they have learned form them and will make better choices in the future, or they lament the lack of information they had to work with.  Can we embrace the mistakes made by people who break laws?  Can we embrace those people when they have served the penalty required by law?  It may depend on the attitude they show, being contrite or defiant.  Those who seem to have learned from their mistakes and are determined to prevent others from making them might earn our admiration, while those who hide behind the shelter of "not knowing" end up looking like lazy manipulators who do not want to learn and grow as human beings.

A Randomly Reappearing Participant tried to define mistakes, something we were probably missing.  Mistakes, simply, so not produce the intended results.  We should take responsibility for our mistakes, especially when they are made in arenas that affect large numbers of people, e.g. industrial mistakes.  In many situations, those with the money can cover their mistakes with witnesses bought and paid for, who say the mistakes made were not the fault of the company, but rather another individual or outside forces.  In some circumstances, it is true that admitting a mistake can diminish one's credibility; however, we also have to take into account the effect finding out about the mistake later will have on that same factor.  We also have to be alert to the happenings around us, as sometimes the mistakes we make are the ones which we could have seen coming.

The Permanent Guest mentioned the phrase, "We all make mistakes," saying it was in actuality trite, but something that depends on many factors.  What we need is to accept the responsibility for making mistakes, which may be why there is such a taboo on admitting them.  There is a culture of avoiding responsibility and not admitting any mistake made, which does not lead us to a space of honesty.  She said governments have a duty to get information before acting, which may be applied to individuals as well.  Finally, she lamented that we do not learn from our own mistakes or from history either.

Another participant was troubled by the subjectivity of mistakes, saying there is a root of unintentionality.  Mistakes are seen after time passes.  The point is that we do not mean for the outcome to be what it is, and the responsibilities for negative outcomes are difficult to quantify.

The Leader laid out the difficulties of learning from our mistakes if we are discouraged by "blame culture" from even admitting to them in his short writing.  The theme continued in the meeting.  He noted the difference between making mistakes due to lack of knowledge or experience and making bad choices through malice or negligence, and said that the level of importance in the outcome of our actions should regulate somewhat the degree of punishment for mistakes; a life-threatening activity may require no punishment, because making a mistake means losing one's life, while simply making a wrong calculation means a lower test score.  He criticized the educational system for being so inflexible with mistake-making, treating everything as a possible life-threatening error.  He also wondered why failed studies were not published, since knowledge of dead ends would save everyone time and money on further study.  As for medical mistakes, when they are genuine slip-ups and not malpractice, the victims of them deserve compensation and should be allowed access to it, probably instead of long court battles.  It is also true, however, that we cannot know the thinking behind many mistakes and actions leading to them, even if the agents attempt to explain themselves.  Litigation against companies could be used as barometer for the fairness of society's recognition of mistakes, as the amount of compensation fairly available, rather than just people looking for easy money.  It is a reflection of the society we live in.  There is a system of investigation in place to discover whether a claim is based on a real understanding of events, and whether there is responsibility for a stupid mistake or intentional poor decision.  He returned to the opportunity to learn, asking how we learn from mistakes, and what, exactly, we can learn.  He also noted that not all mistakes actually have negative consequences.  What should be learned in those cases?  Should we know certain things before we take action?  If so, what are those things?  He ended by attacking the formal system of education once more, complaining that not only does it punish mistakes unduly, it refuses to teach us to recognize mistakes and how to prevent them from happening in the future.

The Educator was not offended by the Leader's interpretation of the state of formal education, but said herself that some things needed to change.  She tries to be an example better teaching, having had to apologize for a mistake to her students more than once, without shame, in her words.  She rejected simple poor decision making as being representative of mistakes, especially in the area of criminal activity, saying they have to be made by accident.  Still, nobody is perfect, and even such highly trained professionals as doctors can make mistakes.  To reduce the possibilities, perhaps they should always work in teams, in part to cover different fields, but also to reduce the arrogant behavior that can lead to both mistakes and refusal to recognize them.  Many people consider defects in nature to be mistakes, although there is no intentionality in nature at all.  Finally, she said we need to make mistakes in order to grow and develop, and it is possible to make defects into virtues.  To become "flawsome", as Tyra Banks might say.