upstairs pt. 3

Look, detective, I don't really mind being called down to the station if I can be of any help, but I've already told my story several times. I don't see why you might hear something different here, when nobody has heard anything interesting in my house. Yes, I suppose your ears are fresh to my story, but that still doesn't tell me why we have to be here. I'm not being interrogated, am I? I'm just answering some questions, again, right? No, I'm not nervous, I'm just a little irritated that I had to leave work like that. My supervisor has it in for me, you know. If I didn't have some, let's say, connections in HR, she might have had my ass kicked out already. I don't know, she's just a bitch. I've never said or done anything to her. I think she's jealous because Ted in the mail room has a crush on me and not her. He always lets me send packages whenever I want.

Ah!...Um...Well, it's...OK, so he really shouldn't be doing that, but I don't send big packages, and I don't send them often. It's only been three. Or maybe five.

Oh, really? That's very strange. It really couldn't have been me, though, detective, I didn't even know their names. How could I address a package to them? Oh, it just said "Resident", I see. But how do you know it came from my office? Seriously? They have special package wrapping paper? That's amazing...and a little silly, if I may say so. Well, we're not FedEx or something for chrissake, why would the office need special paper with its own watermark? I didn't think we even sent out that many packages, that was why Ted was so accommodating. But what was in the package, when was this? Oh, you think I should know?

Look, detective, I've already said I didn't like them. I admitted I vandalized their door. I complained about them to my co-workers. But I don't do creepy threatening things like in the movies, if I have a problem with somebody, I let them know directly.

What do you mean, like with my supervisor? I don't have any problem with her, she has one with me! God!

Well, I don't understand what you're getting at with these questions. Yes, I think they are kind of a waste of time. If you want me to tell you something in particular, why don't you just ask me?

NO. I absolutely did not kill my upstairs neighbors.

Now if you're done making baseless accusations, I'll get back to the office. Lacey must be spreading rumors about me already.

Yes, Lacey is my supervisor. Fine, talk to her. Call her at the office. The number's in the phone book. You have my information, and you can read, can't you?

(See you later? Yeah, like the twelfth of never. Fucker.)