Don't Laugh at Charlie Vargas

There he sits at his table, left hand stroking his chin, right hand gently cradling the pen.  He is crafting his Master Plan, the one that will catapult him into fame everlasting.  The paper before him is covered with scrawled words and numbers, barely distinguishable as sentences and formulas.  It all makes sense to him.

Years ago, he traveled quite a bit with open eyes and mind.  It had done him much good.  He had seen many things, learned many tricks and shortcuts to many questions.  Yes, his years of travel had been fruitful.  And now it is time to reap some of those fruits.

The plan is coming together, oh yes.  He will have to learn a new vocabulary, at least in the way of jokes and stock phrases, but they are jokes and stock phrases, nothing too complicated.  It won't be much of a problem for him to incorporate a few into his introductory repertoire.  Eyes gleaming, he remembers that evening in Las Vegas with those three stock brokers.  Ah, such fun.  So many jokes were flying around that evening, the dealers and bystanders and everyone seemed to be in on their fun, even if they didn't actively participate.  That was a great night, when he felt involved in everything, and part of any circle he wanted to be.  He was Charlie.  Yes, Charlie is talented and powerful, a real success story.  He has all the contacts he needs to spread his word.  It is a difficult job, being a consultant, but for those with the touch, it was not only simple, it was a truly enjoyable line of work.  Charlie has the touch.  He can talk to anybody about anything, make them see the most convenient perspective.  In theory, it would be the most convenient for everybody, but...well, sometimes a sacrifice has to be made here and there.  He is sure it would be on the part of his consultee more often than not, but those would be little sacrifices and he can make them up to the client later.  With big returns, oh yes.  Big returns.

People in this country are willing to take risks for those big returns, he mused.  There's too much timidity where he came from.  People were cautious, entrepreneurs overly careful.  Sure, they stayed afloat, but they were paper boats in rain puddles, not yachts in swelling oceans.  The ocean swells with the tides, with storms and unforeseeable excessive additions from regular tributaries.  But it's those huge inundations that are the most exhilarating, and the ones which you can ride the highest.  People need to stop being so afraid of risk, was that really so hard to see?  Here, things were different.  Everybody was always on the lookout for a new opportunity and willing to get a little wet if there was some splashback, and no biggie, you know?  That's the way the wave rolls.  All you had to do was fit into the game.  And he fit in.

It might have been harder a few years ago, when he was still so attached to his old self.  "Be yourself," everybody said, "You can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself."  Wait, wasn't that from a song?  "To thine own self be true."  There, that's better.  More cultured.  Of course, Shakespeare didn't know what he was talking about, but it sounded good.  Form over substance, which was strangely just the thing in the business world, Charlie has discovered.  Only the idiots follow that namby-pamby feel-good advice, the winners know how to make themselves winners, whether they are natural-born winners or not.  He just wouldn't have made it here before, he was too straightforward, too clean.  He didn't know how to play to his clients' expectations.  But he had picked up on the undercurrent pretty quickly.  Hence, he is now Charlie. 

At first it had seemed like the most natural thing in the world to be Charlie, but recently there has been some kind of negative reaction to him.  Not from clients, of course, the clients are always in the palm of his figurative hand.  But some acquaintances are skeptical of his personal evolution.  He couldn't quite understand their reluctance to see the easy benefit; they seem to think it's a superficial and even cynical decision on his part.  Well, it doesn't really matter what those people think, they're only academics after all.  Those who can't do, teach.  Right?

So now he is Charlie, and Charlie has all the answers.  He has all the aces.  He is making his plan there at his desk.  And when his plan comes to fruition, they won't be laughing anymore, no sir.  They will positively be in awe of him and his greatness.  Once this plan goes through, nobody will laugh without his say-so, oh yes, he is going to be in total control.  And all those moments from the past, when he was practically invisible, before he came here, when that dopey, good-guy name was holding him back, all those moments will be lost forever under the collective repression of memory that Charlie will exercise, because Charlie has the talent for it, and soon he will gather the power.  No, they won't laugh at him again.  He smiles grimly at the thought, staring at the drawn curtains with what he hopes is a look that cuts like a laser.